We humans love to define things into right and wrongs. More often then not we attach an emotional quotient to it. For example- is it ok to hit your child when he does something wrong. The obvious answer would be that “ sitting down and chatting with the child is probably a better and saner option” . But the truth is as a parent you do tend to attach an emotion to the whole act. Sometimes you may be in the right frame of mind to have that chat with the child( I believe even a 1 yr old child is capable of understanding words , though you may need to repeat them again and again sometimes), but sometimes you let your emotions/temperament/inconvenience get into the way and you may whack the kid( though it also depends on the laws of the country you live in. In my country it is sadly allowed)
Judging anyone on their parenting is for the lesser mortals. So I shall refrain from that. But there are so many human actions which end up being dependent on emotion rather then a sense of right or wrong, basically the inability to think it through. And that may be a reason for a major part of our suffering.
Why is it important to do things from a sense of right or wrong? Why is it not ok to let emotion get the better of us? If emotions were to rule the roost then the whole world will be divided between what I perceive as mine and what you perceive as yours. My children, my home, my family, my feelings, my country, my………….your children, your home, your family, your feelings, your country. Etc etc …..there is no end to this. Wars can be fought over these ideas.
What we do, we pass down to our kids as examples. I have 2 children. When they quarrel , more often then not I don’t know who was the fire starter. When they love, I don’t know who loves more. The reason for this is not that I don’t want to understand it. But it’s because kids love and quarrels can both be confusing, because of the sheer level of noise that accompanies it. But in their saner moments I do have chats with them, about what it usually takes to develop good relationships, not just with each other but with other people as well , be it parents, cousins, uncles and aunts, house help, etc. But most importantly the kids see me follow what I preach and preach what I follow. Their rules eventually are theirs to make, but I would like to have fed them a visual that’ll help them to understand.
It is during some of these discussions where the topic of right and wrong and infusion of emotion comes into the picture. My boy who is 11 now, is sensitive to human emotion, and it’s something beautiful to witness as well as nurture. I tell him that the idea is not to always be able to differentiate between right and wrong while acting upon something because it’s sometimes difficult to isolate emotions from your actions. But the important thing is to learn to be alert about the havoc an emotional decision is sometimes capable of creating either by way of hurting or harming someone or coming in the way of your personal or professional relationships. And to be prepared to right a wrong that you may have done even though it may have happened unintentionally.
Because the beauty of life is not about being perfect, but about taking responsibility for your actions and stirring the right kind of vibrations in the world, the kind of vibrations one would like to receive as well.
On that note…..